July 2024

Forty years old…..  When I turned 40, John Michael was 10 years old; we were living in Dickson, Tennessee, just out of Nashville.  What a birthday – Roller Blade lessons on the corner of where West End and Broadway begin in Nashville… Mother and Daddy were in to visit, and we ate well as Jim always knew the best places to eat…. with him, Ramona, Jessi and Val joining us every night for several days of celebrating.  My birthday cake was right off the Southern Living March cover.

Forty years old….. John Michael would turn 40 on the 27th…. So thankful that Blair Family tradition says to never turn down an opportunity to celebrate life and laugh.  Today, I remember John Michael’s sweet smile and infectious laughter.  He loved family more than anything….. his aunts and uncles and cousins (more like siblings) and then his Grandma and PaPa whom he worshiped. As with the past 15 years, I write these notes as tears slowly flow down my cheeks…. Tears of sadness, tears of longing to see my sweet baby again, tears of love, and tears of joy that I was blessed to have this child for 25 years.  

My heart is thankful for all who had an impact on his life….. family, friends, coaches, teachers, Sunday School teachers who modeled integrity, character, kindness, respect, unconditional love, and to always put God first.  John Michael was the embodiment of all of these; the impact of his life cannot be measured as he touched so many lives – as my mother said many times, “John Michael did more in his 25 years than most do in a lifetime, but he will be remembered for what he did for others.”  

Today, I remember his love of reading and writing – more thankfulness for his writings he left behind.  How many times did I bribe him to go shopping with me or do anything else with the promise of going to the bookstore to buy a book. Memories of Walden’s Books and Davis-Kidd Book Stores in Nashville, as well as Books a Million in Huntsville – I can still see him getting “lost” in his perusing, and, then, bringing me a stack of books to buy.

In my years of writing this blog, I have revisited the same message and repeat it today.  We are not guaranteed tomorrow.  Each day is a gift.  When we lose a child, no words can explain the way our heart breaks.  We must all find our own journey to live and find a way to honor the memory of our child.  No one can find it for us; but, I am thankful for so many who find a way to walk it with me.  My journey takes twists and turns and detours, but it is a journey that always brings me back to my faith.  

“Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’, and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.”   

– Matthew 17:20