Dear John Michael,

So many times I am asked – how do you live every day.  My first thought the first time I was asked this was “on the wings of Angels.”  I truly believe that for many days after you left, it was only through God’s grace, His spirit flowing through friends and family, and on the wings of Angels.  For as I look back on the past year, I truly don’t know how I existed – except my thoughts of your beautiful face every morning somehow kept me focusing on how incredibly blessed I am to have been your mother. As next Monday approaches, my heart gets heavier; I can’t describe this feeling…..I talked to Karen early this morning, and before I mentioned anything, she said, “we’re all feeling the heaviness of the next few days”….this part of my journey is so dark…..I’m looking for the shining light that will guides us through…..and, the light begins to shine for  Dad received a text yesterday from SJ; I talked to Dr. debi, who said “I won’t let you be alone.”  You know, she called me every single morning you were in the hospital, and then for the next six months, she never missed a morning to check in on me. You know we really wanted to be related and thought you and Lindsey would make that possible – I smile, as I wish you could see Lindsey’s face when she talks about you.  Blair is coming to spend Saturday and Sunday with us – we think we’ll make our journey to church on Sunday – our first time back; Dad wants me to make tacos…and, your fave – guacamole!  He said he might also make shakes and popcorn – remember on Sunday nights, that was his favorite – but, you always wanted more…..I’ll continue later as the light shines on………I love you