Dear John Michael,
What a glorious birthday for you this year……. to spend it with your daddy and Uncle Bubby.
Selfishly, I write that my heart is so heavy. When you left this world, my heart broke in half; no words can describe the missing piece that will never be whole. Your daddy always made sure to take care of me on days that were so hard – I smile when I think how on Mother’s Day, he always tried to find animals with new babies, especially baby calves, as he knew what joy it brought me to see a mama and a baby…… then, on your birthday, he made sure that we always did something we enjoyed doing with you as a family, whether it was eating somewhere special, cooking your favorite food, or watching a movie. No words today can say how much I also miss your daddy, especially as I remember the day you were born.
This year on your birthday, I will be at school, conducting a training (my favorite thing to do!)…. how hard it has been this past week as I packed up your daddy’s classroom and read his notes he left in his desk drawer – even a note where his computer password was written brought an overwhelming sadness.
I climbed in the car one afternoon of working at school – immediately, “Angels Among Us” came on the radio. Yes, a God Thing. It brought back such precious memories of you learning to play it on the piano at age 11 and singing it in church at age 12. You loved that song! Yesterday, I worked at school again, and the tears started to flow as I left – I started the car, and there it was again – “Angels Among Us.” A God Thing. Strange about those “God things” – every moment, every day is a God thing, but sometimes it takes a song to remind us that God is always in control and is taking every step with us, big or small.
Several years ago, Uncle Bubby shared your story with Becky Hobbs who wrote this beautiful song – at his music tribute, she sang it and mentioned how it had impacted you. Yes, there are angels among us; may we always be thankful for those who bless our lives.
I am so blessed with wonderful memories……. July 27, 1984, “a beautiful baby boy” who loved life was born ……. whose favorite book was Last of the Mohicans – or was it Fried Green Tomatoes? …… oops, that was your favorite food! Your favorite movie was Dances with Wolves or was it Lonesome Dove? Your favorite television show was Everybody Loves Raymond as you said his mother reminded him of me. You would laugh just talking about it. I miss going to the movies with you, discussing books, scratching your back, and laughing. The joy you brought to your mama and daddy is only measured by the joy you gave to others – you touched so many lives.
I will love you forever and ever – you will always be my baby.
This is the day
the Lord has made;
let us rejoice
and be glad in it.