Skip and I made our 21st move in 31 years this past summer. Without any hesitation in my thinking, I know God orchestrated this move. He has listened to so many prayers that friends and family have offered up to Him – and, He answered.
Many years ago, a pastor in Ft Collins, Colorado, told me….wherever you go, live as though you will be there the rest of your life. Reluctantly, I took the first step in following his advice, but found out soon our joy came from that attitude. So many people have touched our lives in all those moves – our lives are so much richer because of them.
But, this move was different…..it was made without John Michael. A couple of months ago, I thought I had made it through the pain of packing all of his belongings. I told myself I would go through everything at a later date, but some things, I can’t keep packed away. So……my heart was tugged again as I began unpacking a few of these boxes as some things I must keep close to me…..in the drawers of my dresser and armoire, beautiful reminders somehow keep him close to me, so……
Dear John Michael,
Last weekend, I told Dad, “He was such a pack rat.” And, he replied, “I wonder whom he got that from.” I could say your Grandma Ramona because we all know she still has those “special shoes, purses, and jewelry” from many years back. But, I know Dad is talking about me as I never discouraged your desire to keep every souvenir, keepsake, book or letter you acquired.
But, just the little things I unpacked again last weekend…..all your pocketknives, your wallet, your watches – insane for someone to have that many, and how many pair of nail clippers did you have??? So, I’ve gathered these items and placed them in that box that Grandma Patty gave me – or, was it for dad – but, you took it over and loved to place valuables in it. Your baby teeth are in my jewelry box – except for the one I placed in a special prayer box locket that Sabra gave me, for when I wear it, your heart touches mine.
My dear son, I know you would want us to be happy with this move, because you taught us how to find the good in every situation and every person, no matter where we are. So, although I sometimes feel guilty about life being so good for us here, I hear your voice saying, “that’s why I love you momma and I wouldn’t expect anything else from you and Dad.”
And, by the way, thank you for being a packrat………your treasures give us comfort.
Love you, my baby.
And, to those who walk with us on our journey, we are blessed to have you in our life; we hope you rejoice with us in our love of John Michael – for your prayers to give us strength and courage sustain us…and, most of all, allow us to continue John Michael’s legacy.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.
You touch my heart with your sweet thoughts. Please know that all 3 of you hold a special place in my heart. May God bless you and Skip, and John Michael, and continue to give you peace and wonderful memories of a very special young man.
Wish you were closer so we could get together.
Oh Marsha, I love reading your blogs and the letters to John Michael, through them you touch my heart and so many others, you are such an extraordinary human being. Thank you for sharing your heart, may your new life be a blessing to you and Skip and keep writing, please.